Secrets To Enhancing Marital Relations: It’s The Thought That Counts

Posted on November 20, 2008 
Filed Under Conscious Relationships, Healthy Relationships, Passion & Sexuality

Many good marriages fail simply because they have lost their “spark;” at least that’s what the people who’ve lost their spark say. The reality is that all marriages lose THAT spark unless you know how to keep it ignited; and that’s a learned skill – not a natural ability. The first thing to realize and understand is that love, romance, and sex, are all primarily mental activities that grow into physical expressions. Improving any area of your relationship requires thought – specifically positive thoughts about what you want to experience. To keep the spark alive in your relationship, just remember – it’s the thought that counts.

The reason relationships change is because our thoughts change. We go from thinking about “catching” someone to thinking about “keeping” someone; these are two dramatically different ways of looking at relationships. The secret to relationships is to simply be – be yourself so that when you do find someone, you know they like you and not one of the things you did to attract, impress, or “hook” them. To keep your relationship fresh, remember to always think of your partner as someone you are trying to “catch.” If you think of your partner as a prize, your thoughts and actions will generate amazing results in your relationship.

Likewise, if you approach the intimate areas of your relationship with the same attention and dedication, you will never have to worry about falling short of your goal of marital bliss. Intimacy isn’t a physical thing; and even sex – when done properly – is only partly physical. The worst marriages in the world are those with the worst sex in the world – either non-existent, or purely physical. To enhance your relationship, start thinking about sex as an exercise in intimacy and creativity; focus on your partner – and their pleasure – and try not to do the same thing twice. Of course, you will do many of the same things much more often than twice; but you must make the effort to be creative if you hope to avoid the ruts so many couples find themselves stuck in.

When you are able to control your mind, and the thoughts you dwell on, you will be able to control your body and all the things it does. When you focus on your partner’s needs and desires, you will find yourself feeling better and better; and you will also find that your fears of not having your own needs met will simply disappear. If you are thinking about your partner, they are free to think about you. If you are simply thinking about yourself and your own gratification, you will find yourself in a very unfulfilling situation that seems more like a race or contest than anything else – and one that leads to unhappiness rather than bliss. Think about what you want; and then think about giving that to your partner 10-times over. You get out of a relationship what you put into it; so put plenty of attention and care into your relationship, because what you focus on grows and what you think about happens. So always remember: In relationships, love, sex, and every other important part of life, “It’s the thought that counts.”

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