Recession-Proof Your Relationships: Don’t Worry – Be Happy!

Posted on January 26, 2009 
Filed Under Conscious Relationships, Effective Thinking, Healthy Relationships

There’s no such thing as “hard times.” There’s just time; and we can make the best of it, or the worst of it. Nobody can predict or control what happens in the future; but we can all control how we respond to future events. People tend to dramatize or over-emphasize the events, circumstances, conditions, and situations they encounter in life; and, when we become attached to those things, or when we identify ourselves by the things that happen around us, we create stress and negative emotions. Stress negatively affects us and everyone around us; and stress and negativity can ruin any relationship – be it with a spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker. But you can create bomb-proof relationships by keeping your cool and using your head, rather than your emotions, to deal with perceived difficulties in your life.

During recessionary economic periods, on any scale, it is easy to let our stress get the better of us and our relationships. Whether the national economy is in turmoil, or we’ve just lost a job, we don’t have to react like the proverbial “chicken with its head cut-off” and run around acting like it’s the end of the world. No matter what event you’re dealing with, it is just an event. Ancient wisdom reminds us that, “this too shall pass;” but there are things you can do while waiting for time to heal your wounds. For starters, instead of ruining relationships and wasting the greatest resources you could possibly hope for, you could protect those relationships and use them to find creative solutions to your problems. A recession, in and of itself, will not end a relationship; but your emotional response to some of the events that accompany a recession very well could.

When dealing with economic crises, it is important to be clear about what happened; nobody did anything to you, something simply happened. There are many stories about a person losing a job they hated only to find one they love – or losing a job they like only to find an even better job. Get clear on what happened and leave it at that. So you lost something; okay, now that you’ve established that, take a look at what you’ve made of it. Have you colored your situation as a tragedy, or the end of the world? Have you used this situation to create a value judgment, or as justification to call yourself – or someone else – a loser, or something worse? What details have you added to the situation or event you just experienced? Like answering a word-problem in school, eliminate the unnecessary details that you’ve added and focus on the facts.

Once you’ve taken a calm, cool look at what’s just happened, the next step is to decide where you want to go from here. When you’re stressed-out, it is much more difficult to think clearly and creatively; and what you need to do now is create possible solutions to your problems and explore those solutions. Use your imagination; you know what you want, so imagine a way you could get there and take steps in that direction. Blaming yourself or others is not a solution; so don’t waste your time with guilt, shame, blame, anger, or any other negative response. These negative thoughts and emotions occupy your mind and keep creative solutions at bay. Besides, if you’re allowing shame, humiliation, embarrassment, or guilt to cause you to blame your partner for your economic troubles, you’re wasting time, energy, and valuable resources – while simultaneously destroying a relationship that could be growing stronger as a result of this opportunity to think together, act together, and grow together through adversity.

No matter what happens in your life, or with the economy, just remember: People and relationships should always come first. Money, jobs, houses, and even governments come and go; but a strong relationship can keep you warm and happy for an entire lifetime. Don’t worry about what happened in the past, or what might happen in the future; just be happy you have someone to share your time with – someone to share ideas with and someone who can support and encourage you as you take action. You can’t control the future; but you can control the way you think about and respond to the events in your life. Think about what’s truly important to you and take steps to protect it from the effects of stress and negativity. In the end, you’ll be glad you did.

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