Enhance Any Relationship: Redefine, Redesign, and Realign Your Relationship

Posted on November 22, 2008 
Filed Under Conscious Relationships, Healthy Relationships

Building a relationship, or working to improve a relationship, are important tasks – much more important to your body, mind, and spirit, than watching television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, text messaging, or doing most of the leisure activities people tend to spend the majority of their lives doing these days. Sure, everyone wants a better relationship; unfortunately, without a clearly defined goal, or some sort of system or plan to help you achieve your goal, the task is to daunting for most people to really ever start. But you can quickly and easily make profound improvements in your relationships by simply becoming aware of these three-steps to creating new and improved relationships: Redefine; Redesign; and Realign.

1. Redefine your relationship by first deciding what you have, and what you want; and then declaring and establishing the terms of the new relationship you will create for yourself. When people get divorced, it is because, at this step, they had either no resources that allowed them to see themselves in an ideal relationship with this other person, or they simply had no desire to be with that specific person any longer. Of course, there are many reasons for divorce, but they all involve – at least for one person – an attempt to Redefine the relationship they are in hoping to find more happiness or better circumstances. Anyone can find happiness – anywhere. And, anyone can create better circumstances for themselves. To Redefine simply means to Define your circumstances in new ways that are more enjoyable and beneficial to you and your partner.

2. Redesign your relationship by removing distractions and the old things you no longer need in your “newly defined” relationship – and adding the new dimensions, thoughts, words, behaviors, feelings, and actions needed to improve the areas of your relationship that seemed to be lacking or “broken.” For instance, now is the time to listen to your sarcastic remarks BEFORE you say them out loud, and apply the relationship enhancing wisdom of, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” This step is your responsibility as a human being. It isn’t always easy to stay awake, aware, alert, and in control of your physical expressions and responses; but you’re always responsible, and it always pays to be nice – especially in relationships. Stop doing things that you have decided are not to your liking or benefit. If you don’t, who will do it for you? At this stage, learn what you need to learn, and acquire what you need to acquire, in order to move into your new relationship.

3. Realign yourself and your life to your relationship, or your relationship to your new self and life; but, in either case, you simply have to decide how you want to experience the world and gradually adjust yourself with this new way of being. It may take time to align yourself with new thoughts and behaviors; but happy people don’t think the things you sad people have been thinking about – think about it… If you want something better, you want something new; and, if you want something new, you want something different – and that means you want change. If you are afraid of change, or unwilling to adjust, or align, yourself to new things, then you are truly not fully willing to accept better conditions in your life or relationship. This is where you should realize that sacrifices are not losses if they are steps along the path to a happier life.

By simply becoming aware that your relationship is a process, a classroom, and an opportunity to grow and practice becoming a better person, you will start to better understand the choices and events you are faced with on a daily basis – both in and out of your relationships. When you realize that the condition of your relationship improves or degrades based on the thoughts you think and the choices you make, your thoughts will begin “policing” themselves. You’ll start becoming aware of the negative words you are speaking and the negative feelings and events that result; and then you’ll start experimenting with better thoughts, words, and choices. This process will happen automatically if you let it. Redefining, Redesigning, and Realigning to a happier, healthier relationship can be easy; it only requires your awareness and willingness to change for the better.

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